Thought for the day or Something to think about.

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Postby SmokeyBob » Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:24 am

Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire.
~Robert Brault

Everyone has a photographic memory, but not everyone has film.
~Author Unknown

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.
~Tina Fey
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Postby SmokeyBob » Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:23 am

Don't tell your friends about your indigestion. "How are you" is a greeting, not a question.
~Arthur Guiterman
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Postby SmokeyBob » Tue Nov 02, 2010 10:17 am

There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We do not believe this to be a coincidence.
~Jeremy S. Anderson

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
~Laurence J. Peter

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
~Frank A. Clark
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Postby starleen2 » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:16 am

“I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad a turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastromi,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.â€
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Postby SmokeyBob » Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:51 am

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
~Dorothy Parker

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in.
~Author Unknown

You can't have everything... where would you put it?
~Steven Wright
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Postby SmokeyBob » Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:59 am

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
~Author Unknown

A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge.
~Robert Brault

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
~Al Franken

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
~Stephen Fry
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Postby SmokeyBob » Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:57 pm

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
~Stephen King

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
~Fred Allen

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
~William Castle
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Postby zapj » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:27 pm

Anything worth doing is worth doing well!
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Postby SmokeyBob » Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:58 am

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.
~Larry Lujack

Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.
~From the movie The African Queen

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
~Francis Bacon
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Postby SmokeyBob » Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:44 am

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
~George Burns

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.
~Dave Barry

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
~Franklin P. Jones
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Postby SmokeyBob » Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:25 pm

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will.

Stay in touch.

Regina Brett
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Postby starleen2 » Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:27 pm

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.â€
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Postby SmokeyBob » Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:19 pm

[quote="starleen2"]When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.â€
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Postby SmokeyBob » Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:37 pm

Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

Regina Brett
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Postby SmokeyBob » Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:24 am

I thought the last line in this joke was something to think about.

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.

The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.â€
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